Decisions, decisions....

There is a very uncertain environment at work at the moment, without going into detail in this public forum, a chance has presented itself to me to be redeployed within the local authority.  It is possible for me to be redeployed to social services.  Lewis is not keen on the idea at all.  In an ideal world he would like to see me a full time stay at home mum, but I know I could not be happy doing that forever.  Lewis's job has no provision for any kind of promotion, and mine has very little chance to.  So basically we could stay like this for the rest of our working lives.  Always scrimping, struggling to make ends meet.  I think Lewis is happy with this, but more and more I have realised I am not.
I kind of feel like I have a choice; obey my husband's counsel (though I don't think he has considered me at all in his advice) or go after my own happiness and try to make things more comfortable for my children.... I've never been one to obey ;)
Please excuse my very mixed up logic, my brain is a whirlwind at the moment!

A load more annoying, and a nice day

So you'd think it couldn't get much worse... but it did.  Cam belt has snapped on the car and is most likely not repairable.  Am I cursing myself for selling a perfectly working car?  Yes I am.  
So with all this stress piled on top of an already run down and iron deficient me, I woke up on Thursday morning unable to breath and unable to do anything.  It was an uphill struggle to get dressed and I spent the rest of the day laying on Auntie Sue's sofa crying...very pathetic.
I did manage to get to work on Friday, but wasn't up to going to see Breaking Dawn with Jamie, which means of the two films I was supposed to see this week I saw none. :(
Luckily I have a very supportive family and a very supportive set of work colleagues who have in their own way picked me up, dusted me down and set me on my way again.  Aiden took me and the boys to see the seals at Donna Nook this morning and it was nice to forget everything for a while.  I bought a couple of gifts on the way home and almost felt a little positive about Christmas.

So beyond annoying

Well the "miracle" car just died on us... in the middle of Scunthorpe... at rush hour.  I can honestly say me and the man upstairs are not speaking right now.  It seems every time we catch a break something twice as horrible comes to wreck it, and I suppose technically that is the man downstairs doing, but I can't help but wonder when it's our turn to have the peaceful drama free life our non Christian, long term unemployed, smoking, drinking neighbours do.  Do I sound a little bitter?  Well that's because I am.
So all fun is cancelled, just in time for my birthday and Christmas...awesome.

It's not much to look at...

 We're not the best gardeners, we lack time, Lewis lacks desire and I lack physical strength to turn our garden into a mini Eden.  However, I still enjoy our garden.

 When I was a little girl I used to love following my Auntie Katrina who is 7 years older than me.  One of my favourite places to follow her was to feed her rabbits, which were kept in what looked liked a old and dilapidated wooden caravan.  It was full of rabbit hutches.  I loved the smell of the saw dust (she had an endless supply since my Grandad was a carpenter) and I can recall the shopping basket of water bottles we used to carry over there.

 Perhaps that's where my love of animals came from?  It gives me a great sense of peace to plod round the garden feeding the various animals we have accumulated.  The latest two to our collection are Bubbles and Smiley.  These guinea pigs were given to us because their previous owner didn't have time to look after them.  It was a hard decision for them, but I have promised they can visit!

 The kittens are keen to explore, and are just starting to peek over the fence to the wider world!

 "Chad" the rabbit is all snuggled into his winter hutch and has become a very cuddly rabbit.  I hope that in summer we can put Chad, Bubbles and Smiley in the run so they can make friends and stop Chad from being lonely!

 Dash follows me round the garden, and is so loyal, despite being called annoying several times in a day.  

Even Max will meander round the garden, but he is getting slower, grumpier and sleepier these days.

Alas, Muffin is a rare visitor these days.  It is so sad, but cats are very fickle and I strongly suspect she is being fed elsewhere.  She pops in every now and then for a cuddle but I think I am going to have to keep her in for a couple of weeks next time so she remembers where home is.

Not acting my age this week!

I DO try to behave like a responsible grown up most of the time, but if you asked me whether I am more excited about going to see Breaking Dawn on Thursday night or Christmas, it would be a tough call right now!  I am really looking forward to it, but I am not looking forward to work the next day...fingers crossed I will stay awake!

I am sleeping through most of today so I hope I will be plenty rested by Thursday.  I have spent all weekend being barely able to speak above a squeak, which has been so annoying, but not as annoying as the real hacking cough I have now that makes me sound like I am a chain smoker...yuck!  I did go into work, but the head decided, wisely, that I would be better at home, so here I am enjoying what daytime TV has to offer!  Fun times!

11.11.11

It was a real surprise to get an invite to Jen and Howard's wedding, but it was really nice to share their day with them.  They really compliment each other, and they both looked so happy.

It was really nice to have an evening out with Lewis, and I just happened to have a pretty purple dress, so I even fitted in with the theme of the wedding! 

I also made a friend and I spent the evening chatting away to her despite my very sore throat...so much so that by the time I got home last night I had actually lost my voice!  This morning I can manage a whisper, but little else!  It's going to be a quiet weekend.

In other news, it was nice to have a pleasant evening out, because this last week has been rough.  There is a possibility that I may not have a job after Christmas and for those of you who know how my contract works, you will know the reason behind that.  And that reason breaks my heart.  The Head has told me I will be welcome to stay on voluntarily so I can finish my course, but I will be sad since I love my job so much.  How we will manage financially is also a really big concern, but we have managed before and I have no doubt we will get through again.  Thank goodness I didn't give up my dinner lady job, or this really would have left us in trouble!

Grandma's 60th Birthday Party

Having spent the morning in Scunthorpe A & E with a very painful attack of SPD, I was on crutches and unable to bowl, but it gave me a chance to sit and play with my camera.  Now for some reason I seem to have a lot of pictures that look like the one below...

 ...after 7 and a half year of marriage the sight of my husband stills draw my attention! 

 I loved how small Nathan's bowling shoes were, so cute!

 Esaias selects a ball.  I have to say watching my kids walking around carrying bowling balls set my nerves on edge a little, but they were very careful and squashed toes were avoided...phew!

 An emotional reunion between Laren and Fran.  Laren has been away on his training with the RAF and Fran didn't know he was coming, it was a lovely surprise!

 Nathan and his cousin Grace aiming for a strike.

 And the suspense gets a bit much for Caitlin!

In this picture are all 8 of Fran's children and all 14 of her grandchildren.  It was a little chaotic!