Hell on earth, followed by nothing less than a miracle

I am not being dramatic, that is exactly what we experienced this weekend.  Not exactly the way I wanted to celebrate the Diamond Jubilee!!  I won't go in to much detail, but on Saturday I called an ambulance, deathly afraid I was going to lose our precious baby.  I was certain the baby had gone. The ambulance crew took their time, I arrived at hospital and was sat in a corridor because there were no beds, next to a drunk guy in a bed who was moaning that he had been punched in the face.  I wanted to scream out, why is no one doing anything? In the back of my brain I knew I was low priority because is I was miscarrying there was nothing they could do except let nature takes its course, but it was like watching one of my children standing in the middle of the M62 and trying to remain calm.... completely against any one's natural instincts, let alone a mother's.  I REALLY wanted to punch the drunk guy in the face and take my anger out on him, but I knew that would do me no good either.
After hours of waiting I was told by an A+E doctor who was barely awake that I would have to wait until Wednesday for a scan ... at which point the rational part of my brain turned off and I became slightly hysterical.  The doctor offered the chance to see the EPU doctor, which Lewis took.  The EPU Dr examined me and assured me that the signs were positive and she could get me a scan on Tuesday, she also offered me a bed in the hospital until Tuesday.  We made the decision to come home, but took the Tuesday appointment.  We came home and truly mourned for our child.  We made another trip to the hospital on Sunday and again were reassured all signs were positive, we went home and tried to take our minds off the waiting.  On Monday I laid still for the whole day, I don't think I have done that since being a teenager!  On Tuesday we went for the scan, and without trying to sound dramatic, I felt like I was being led out to the gallows.  When we saw a heart beat and a tiny baby jumping up and down I think we both went in to shock.  We had expected silence.  It was a truly humbling experience.
Throughout it all we felt nothing but love from all of our friends and family.  Fran had the whole family fasting and was determined that the baby was alive, I only wish I had her faith.  Throughout it all I was so afraid of having to tell the children, who we'd only just told about the baby on the Thursday.  Caitlin's Dad said she talked of nothing else all the time she was with him.  I have sat them down today and told them that "Elmo" (Nathan's doing) has been given a body and so now he/ she may not need to be tested and may be taken back to Heavenly Father.  If the worst happens I can only hope I have given them a way of understanding.
But for now, we know that "Elmo" is fine and still healthy, and we have so many supportive people around us.  It was quite overwhelming how many stood by us in our time of need and I am so grateful for that, but especially to our Heavenly Father who has continued to bless us.

Baby's first picture

So we had our scan yesterday, and this is baby number 4!  A happy, healthy, if a little shy, baby.

Renaissance: 30 Reasons Why EVERYONE Should Want LOTS of Children

Renaissance: 30 Reasons Why EVERYONE Should Want LOTS of Children

Wobbly tooth!

At the age of 7, Esaias is experiencing his first wobbly tooth!!  Being Esaias and very advanced in all things he turns his hand to (just like his Daddy) he has already got a adult tooth growing behind it!  At this age Caitlin had already lost a few teeth, so I was kind of curious as to why Esaias hadn't lost any.  (As a side note here, this is not a comparison between my two children, just an observation.  Don't compare my kids to each other, they are unique.  Don't compare them to your own kids in an way shape or form either.  My kids are the best in my opinion which is how it should be. Rant over.)
So the tooth fairy visit is imminent, how exciting!
Nathan and Esaias also went to their first Street Dance class today (I am not counting the last one class I took them to, it was a ballet class full of little girls no matter what they called it!) They LOVED it!  They came home and showed me their moves, it was awesome.  Esaias has always had Happy Feet since he tried on his first pair of shoes, he'll be bouncing and flipping in no time!

A nice weekend

We have spent the weekend at my mother-in-law's house, and have had a lovely weekend.  Yesterday we went swimming at Cleethorpes Leisure Centre which was great fun.  Nathan was well over the line to use the slide this time so he was delighted and went down it over and over again.  They also put a large inflatable obstacle course in the pool which Caitlin and Esaias got to go on.  Esaias had to have a little swimming test before he was allowed on it, which he of course passed with flying colours!  It was a proud moment for me!  

It was really nice to be able to pick up Fran in our (7 seater) car and take her with us to the pool rather than making two trips or picking her up from the bus stop.  We also took her and Oliver to Church today which was very cool.  It was nice to visit Grimsby ward and ironic for me to realise the ward that I always felt uncomfortable in, makes me feel less uncomfortable than the ward I am in now. I know people at Grimsby and I actually sat at the front in Relief Society and felt part of it rather than hiding at the back like I normally do these days.  Weird.  I'm never happy!

Lovely as it has been, it is nice to be home again.

Bad timing

So I have discovered I am now tipping the scales at ... well that's between me and the scales!  The point being it is time to change.  For too long I have been tired and ill and if there is the possibility of us having another child, I need to be at my physical peak or at least on the way!  I found an app that tells me what to eat every day which really helps, because I am not into counting calories, points, syns or anything of the sort!!! So far so good, I have eaten what I should, mostly avoided what I shouldn't (mostly) and am exercising a little bit more than I was.  
The only fault with all of this good will is that it is Easter this weekend....aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I'm a hero!

And all I did was fix a certain young man's blanket! This is Nathan playing with the off cuts!

It's been a while, but finally here are some pictures of Caitlin's birthday.

 And this is Esaias and Caitlin opening their presents after their joint birthday disco.  Fun was had by all, I believe, though Lewis has assured me that was the last party I will throw for the kids.... ha ha we'll see!
We are watching the pennies more closely these days though.  Since tentatively making the decision to extend our family, we are saving for a bigger car... it's not going very quickly so far :/